Tots & Tykes: Stressing Fun

When the young ones start gettin' ready to take-up the best sport on earth (a.k.a. soccer), it's best to teach them the basics. Tactics and strategies aren't really necessary. The early learning years are extremely important in building good habits. The skills they first learn should be the foundation on which the later techniques are built upon. The single most basic skill to teach, however, is to have FUN. Soccer for children should be FUN for everybody involved.

Children should enjoy playing...and to the best of my knowledge, most children do not enjoy being yelled at. I remember running around at my favorite field, chasing birds, and butterflies, and in the distance, a loud, obnoxious, yelling coach interrupted my important "flying things" training session. He was so amazingly irritating, that I seriously considered stopping my training, and running up to the coach, giving him one of those cute dog looks, and then biting him in the kneecap.

It was clear that this overweight bozo of a coach was not somebody who was trained in coaching soccer, but more likely, the father of some poor, embarrassed child. I can imagine this guys daily routine: 6:30 am-wake-up, flip-off the clock, kick the cat, and stare into the bathroom mirror. 7:00 am -after sucking down three cups of coffee and two dozen powdered minidonuts, he leaves for work in his lime-green Oldsmobuick. For the next few minutes, he curses traffic, and drives like a one-armed juggler to get to a job that he hates...insurance or real estate.

After getting to work, he flirts with the receptionist (that could easily be his daughter) and then sits down at his oversized oak desk and fluffy chair, his high school diploma hanging on the wall behind him. He pours himself a cup of the worst coffee on earth, spits it all over his stack of work-day papers, and screams at his secretary for not having the good Folger's stuff waiting for him. Two minutes later the phone rings. "Honey, Jimmy's soccer team needs a coach. Nobody else wants to do it, you're their last hope." And so a soccer coach is born.

This guy isn't going to be a good coach. He is not going to leave a good impression on the kids. This guy is going to scream at the kids. His only emphasis will be on winning. He'll only offer positive reinforcement when somebody from his team scores a goal. The best kid on the team (in his mind) will be the one that scores the most goals. The defender who stops every attack will be ignored. The goalkeeper that makes every save will be overlooked. The midfielder that sets up the winning goal will be forgotten. And the kid who sits in front of the goal, and shoots every time he gets the ball, will be the king. Little Jimmy, the defender who played every minute of the season, will never play soccer again, and will probably lose the friends that had to put up with his father's temper. Big daddy coach is taking his miserable life out on the kids...and can therefore be justifiably bitten in the kneecap.

Although this should never happen, it still does. This problem can be avoided. Everybody involved is to blame. Everybody involved can make a difference. It is the parents responsibility to be involved with their sons/daughters lives. Here are a few things to do to keep this from happening to your child. 1.) Stay involved. Go to the practices and watch your children play. If they aren't smiling and laughing, there's something wrong. Watch how the coach handles the team. Is the coach positive or negative? Are the kids messing around or are they playing soccer? Do all of the players get to touch the ball a lot, or is there a lot of standing around? 2.) Don't be afraid to talk with the coach. Whey you are allowing your child to be supervised by another person, you had better know what your getting your child into. Just because the coach is an adult, doesn't mean that he coach is responsible. Nor does it guarantee that the coach has good morals, good ethics or can conduct himself/herself in a manner appropriate to children with impressionable young minds. Just by talking, you can get a good sense of what kind of person the coach is. 3.) Don't be afraid to talk to your children. Ask: How was practice today? Did you have fun? What did you do? Do you like the coach? Do you get along with the other players? Does the coach yell at you when you make a mistake? Does the coach show you how to do the new skills? 4.) Don't be afraid to talk to the other parents. Ask if the other parents have ever heard their children complain about the coach. Sometimes, if your child is shy, he/she won't tell you if something is wrong. You probably won't know until next season when your child refuses to play.

Also: Don't think that having a "Professional" paid coach, or a "licensed" coach, or a coach with an accent means that they are beyond suspicion. Just because a coach may know the game, or be a good player, does not mean that they are good with children, patient, or well-mannered. THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE FOR BEING INVOLVED. Make it your business.

Another point: Make sure the coach can handle emergencies. The coach should have a valid Red Cross card and CPR card. And the practice field should have a phone nearby. There are a lot of really good coaches out there also. With a little research, we can make sure that the game of soccer is a fun and positive experience for everyone. On the other hand, if you think that big daddy coach sounds a lot like you, I have just one thing to say...Beware of cute looking dogs. Ciao for now.


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